Have you ever found that sometimes, life throws you a couple of punches you never expect or weren’t prepared for? Well, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to duck some of ‘em. I can’t say that they’re bad experiences. No, no. They’re just…well, experiences. I wouldn’t categorize them as good or bad ones. Okay, I lied. I can’t categorize them. Believe me, I tried. Hah. I’ve got “un-categorize-able” (if ever there were such a word) experiences under my belt. Zippedy-doo-dah for me.
*long sigh*
Well, the thing is, I always thought that things would turn out a certain way for me. I guess I sorta planned on them turning out the way I wanted them to. I mean, not just by my own strength or by my own will alone. Nope, that’s stupid. But heck, I even prayed about it. Well, wonder of wonders, after everything, the ice cracked last week.
Are you guys lost?
I’m sorry. Here, let me explain myself. I was a skater. I mean, I owned a pair of skates before and I did take on a couple of lessons. It’s almost like dancing except that you move much faster on ice than you do on solid ground. It was fun. I liked it. I initially thought I was doing pretty well but after a bad fall a few lessons later, I quit. I shoved the skates into the back of the storeroom and told myself that I never wanted to brave the ice again.
Well, it took me a long time to discover that I still wanted to skate. It came with a rude awakening just when I thought that life could go on without me being on the ice. I thought I didn’t need the wind in my hair or the shoop-shoop sound of my blades on ice. Never thought I’d say this but if anything, I wanted my old skates back. “Nah, I’ll never find them. They’re way too far back in the closet and way too deep in the dust for me to ever find them,” I told myself. “And, come on,” I went on, “They’re bound to be too tight by now. After all, I’ve grown up. They won’t fit my feet anymore.” I left it at that.
Well, the skates turned up one day while Mummy was spring-cleaning. I swooped in for a good look at them. Hmmm. Not too shabby. Hell, I had taste back in the day. Hah. But nah, I don’t think they’ll fit. Nevertheless, I tried ‘em on just for size. *grunt* A tight squeeze but I guess the weather messed with the leather and it got loose due to the humidity or something. I don’t know. Whatever it is, it wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.
Hmmm.
Here comes the point where I reached a junction. “To skate, or not to skate” – that was the question. I couldn’t decide. I didn’t know what choice to make. My head told me, “Eh! Stupid ah you? Fall before summore dunno how to scared meh? Plus, you know your bad back won’t be able to take another fall.” But my heart said, “Hey, you know you can learn again. Second time round is never as difficult as the first.”
Sigh.
Well, here was where I started to pray. I had to know from Someone greater than I. I had to have the insight of a mind that’s not of this world that also knew my situation better than I did. I didn’t want to sign up for lessons, pay the registration fee, go for a couple of lessons then end up quitting a second time round. That’d be a total waste of time and money.
Ding!
The microwave popped and I think I got my answer.
Phew.
Okay, fine. I’d skate again. I’d have to sign up for classes and get a proper suit. But first things first. I decided to wear my skates for a few minutes each day to comfortable-ize (my English stinks) them. After all, it’s been awhile. So, day in and day out, that was what I did. Just for a few minutes. Some days, those minutes stretched while for some other days, I barely had the time to step into them before stepping out again. The preparation for my classes was working out very well for me. Things were comfortable and I never had to go out of my way to keep to my skate-loosening ritual.
But things aren’t sweet all the time, right?
I suddenly got to know that the teacher I liked and was counting on learning from would be away on maternity leave. Dang. What now? Should I just forgo the classes and give up my dream? Perhaps I should. What if some other psycho teacher kills me on the ice before I even complete all my lessons? I didn’t know what to do. Things weren’t working out like I thought they would. No smooth sailing for me this time. I had to choose – to wait till my teacher-of-choice returns or to go ahead and tread into the unknown with another teacher.
Think, Tinki, think!
Dang. What bad timing. And just when I was on the verge of starting my lessons, too. Sigh. Well, things happen, huh? Roll with it. But after that, what next?
Well, brilliant me decided to take the chicken-shit’s way out. That’s it la. I decided to call off the lessons once and for all. If Mrs Teacher-of-Choice returned eventually, I’ll decide then, to decide again.
But wait. As soon as I made my decision, things went haywire. My friends started introducing me to roller-blading and roller-skating. Close seconds, yes, but nope, not exactly my cup of tea. Next, I started getting weird calls and emails from skate schools around the area. They began promoting their teachers to me, some of whom I already knew, while some others I didn’t. Sure, some seemed like pretty good teachers – the kind that I’d introduce my friends to. But none that struck my fancy. One thing that this did was that it sure opened my eyes to a whole world of the availability of skating teachers. There are so many of them! I guess if I wanted to, there would be one who’d be able to take the place of Mrs Teacher-of-Choice.
But… Perhaps I just didn’t trust that they were capable of breaking my super-duper-uber-power fear of the ice. Or maybe it was as simple as the fact that I didn’t like the fella’s haircut or teeth. I don’t know what it was but I just didn’t end up going for lessons with any of them. Well, even so, the calls and emails didn’t cease. Sigh.
How now? I think skating teachers go through some special student recruitment technique course before they get to teach cause they sure weren’t letting up. Perhaps not until I started classes with A teacher – ANY teacher. Well, guess what the first thing that went through my mind was.
“Mrs Teacher-of-Choice, ditch your baby and come back la!”
*blinks*
Okay okay. I think I’ve strayed way too far from what I wanted to say. I can’t even remember how I started this post. Bleh. I love kids. I wouldn’t dream of asking her to ditch that baby. No, no, I wouldn’t ask (though I know my life would be a whole lot easier if she did that).
So anyways, all I’m saying is that sometimes, we’ve gotta make choices. These choices are thrown at us without us expecting them but nevertheless, we’re expected to hit right back and aim straight, too. It ain’t easy. It never is. But you know, in my case, my problem came when Mrs Teacher-of-Choice decided to go off for maternity leave. That was why I had to decide on my next course of action. And the thing is with this saturated industry is that if one teacher leaves, another one is always ready to step right up and take that teacher’s place. The market is such.
Sigh.
That doesn’t make it easy for us students, especially not for ice-fraidy cats who want to skate so badly but are unwilling to risk another fall. Choice is not always a good thing to have. Thing is, I’m at crossroads whether I like it or not. I wish that Mrs Teacher-of-Choice was too and that she’d decide to return to help me conquer the ice again. Thing is, I don’t think they even told her that I registered for those blasted lessons. Ish. She’s at the wrong place at the wrong time! For all I know, by the time she chooses to return, the ice would have melted and Winter has moved into Spring.
*grumble grumble, frown frown*
For now, here’s what I think – when you find yourself crossroads, or worst still, at the wrong place at the wrong time, it’s time to move those legs, get off that butt and go places – the right places. Who knows, you’d probably make someone’s life a whole lot easier.
Bleh.
